I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
