The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize
