my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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