is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
