I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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