I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
