I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
