Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
All I want is dick and wine.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
