with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize