I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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