: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
