Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
