the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
