Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
