I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I just want to make out with him forever
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
