I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
