I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
