I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
