u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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