This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
should my penis look like a turkey
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
