So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
