I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
