Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
