I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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