We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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