i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
