dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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