when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
