I'm jealous of your bromance
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
