community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
