How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
