Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
