fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
