By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
