that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
