party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
His hands were made for my vagina.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
