Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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