I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
