u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
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