I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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