And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
zippers are such a cool invention
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
