Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize