pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
