just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
