he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
then he tried to convert me to islam
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
