Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
