just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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