My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
