Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
