Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
