....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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