Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I'm at about main and main street
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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