It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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