who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
