The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
