I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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