we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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