I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
