Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
